


sugar and smoke rings

by ilovewonwoo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Love Letters, M/M, Mentioned Monsta X Ensemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovewonwoo/pseuds/ilovewonwoo
Summary: hoseok just wants to know why.





	sugar and smoke rings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wenmistry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wenmistry/gifts).



Hoseok laid in his bed, hugging his pillow and trying not to cry. The boy was a mess. He turned over to check his clock. It was only 9am, and he couldn't go write another letter yet. He was all out of paper, and the market where he lived didn't open until 10. It was a long-ish drive though, and he knew it would a little while to get ready and find his keys. He let go of his pillow as he continued choking back tears. 

Hoseok slowly got up from his bed, fixing his gray t-shirt which was crooked. He walked toward the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror as a single tear fell down his cheek. He sighed, grabbing a shirt and a pair of jeans from the dresser, trying not to wake up his roommates. he headed back into the restroom, sighing once more as he slipped his t-shirt off and replaced it with a white v-neck. He slipped his jeans on over his boxers and combed his hair out. He realized he failed at trying not to wake up any of his roommates as Changkyun came through Hoseok's bedroom door, still drowsy from staying up until 2am studying. "Why are you up so early?" he asked, scratching his head and yawning.

"It's only..." Hoseok paused as he looked at the clock in the bathroom."9:15." Hoseok tried not to cry in front of his friend. "Gonna go get some paper."

"For Hyungwon?"

The older male hummed in response. 

"Okay, I'm gonna go back to sleep. Have fun with that, I guess."

"S-sleep well," the older stuttered. Changkyun went back out of the room and into his own.

Hoseok began talking to himself, wondering about Hyungwon. "I'm sure he went to a good place. He was basically an angel to me anyway." He sighed and another tear fell down. Hoseok laid the comb back down on the counter and sniffled as he walked out of the bathroom to the front door to put some shoes on. He did so quietly, hoping he wouldn't wake another person up. 

\--

Hoseok returned home from the store to the smell of pancakes cooking. He guessed that Kihyun had woken up, because he was the only roommate of theirs that could actually cook without burning the house down. Hoseok went into the kitchen. Just as he was expecting, Kihyun was right there, by the stove, cooking pancakes. "Hey hyung, these should be done in just a few minutes," Kihyun said softly. He ran a hand through his peach-colored hair and turned back to Hoseok. "Feeling any better today?"

"I guess," Hoseok sighed. "A little."

Kihyun's lips tugged into a smile. "Good! Even a little is good. You're gonna get through this." 

"Thanks," Hoseok smiled. He pulled out a piece of paper and grabbed a pencil from the kitchen island as he sat down at a stool. He began writing slowly.

"Day 9, and I miss you even more. I miss the strawberries you always made me go get for you because you didn't want to go out, I miss eating them with you. I miss getting bowls for sugar so that you could eat them with sugar, and that was your favorite snack. I miss smelling your cigarette smoke, which is weird, I know, but it reminds me of you. I miss the late night drives we took when we couldn't sleep, I miss skipping class just to cuddle with you. I miss all of it, Hyungwon, I miss you. You were my first love, my only love, and I wanted it to stay that way. You were the only thing keeping me alive. I just wanna know why you had to be taken away from me. Why did you do it to yourself? Was it my fault? Did I make you do it? Or was it something else? I just wanna know, Hyungwon. Maybe when we meet, I can ask you.

Love, Hoseok."

His writing was cut off by Kihyun's voice. "Breakfast is ready."

"Okay."


End file.
